A girl stop dreaming in her dreamland ~

2009-09-27T23:39:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldnt have this feeling.
When I'm alone, or when I departed with you.
I hate this feeling,
Cause only in my twenty year life only babyboy.
Give me this uncertain feeling.
At the point of childish age, I bear with it and carry on.
But now, I want a stable relationship.
I simply finally understand it's you and nobody else.
So I sat in the blank, looking through those webpages.
& I know I shouldn't shed tears again.
No matter what happens.

Went sengkang with sister for facial
& shopping at compass point.
& I saw the swan swan.
Manage to visit it and had swing at the playground.

Should tuck in early after medication.
Busy week ahead =.=

2009-09-24T22:44:00.002+08:00

Its gonna be my last post.
cause you win in the game.
In making me damn upset.
I must be an idoit to actually walk in your trap.
To actually believe you will wait for 2 year
Showing off finish. *claps*

BB JH ask me to go over.
Rejected n still havent given him a proper reply.
Sorry, I wasnt in the mood.
I didn't knew how we can started off in this situation.

Was damn complicated, so I swing off all the toys on the shelf and tear all those photograph.
Yup, as expected with darling. I broke into tears. So you should be happier.
I took off the ring n sit here blasting song.
With those darling comfort in not falling in your trap.

I shouldn't be tearing.
ITS OVER.
OVER
OVER . . .

You made the decision into being with another girl.
That you NOT me.
Cause at least IRejected HER in the end.

2009-09-22T18:41:00.002+08:00

lie on bebe shoulder and shed tears.
regarding due to busy work awaiting.
bebe tried to ease comfort.
just remember this few sentence he say.
Im mature enuff, so dont play with those bitches.
That sth more impt awaiting for me.

I shld try to make myself happier.
& start my second semester tmr.
Parents is too busy to pick me daily.
I arranged more revision with those clinque on friday.

Just a few more month to go. . .
Princess no longer feel happy with those
spending, make up and high heels.

I was the one that make the final decision.
so dont felt regret.
But I just hate this feeling of someone replacing.
Hate it, when I actually did believe what idoit said.
If love is like this. I guess I owe you a THANKS & TC.

2009-09-21T11:01:00.002+08:00

Two weeks holiday end like this. Surprising I felt hurt.
After 4 months of breakup, 2 month w/o him contacting me.
All these while had bebe's comfort.
A really great friend of mine. I knew him less than a year.
But he knew me so well. I can't survive without being love.
That's a fact, I need to admit.

Anyway went shopping in JB & spent more than half K.
=x, I was over doted.
I was leading a happily & blissful life.
With family loves.
But I let them disappointing.
Went smoking n go back to the old grouping.
I tot that makes me felt better.
But I was all wrong.

Cause I still felt hurt.
By this stupid two person.
& I guess all this wasn't love.

Gonna pass those cigar & chewing gum.
& orchard for double confirm wedding venue.
& I shld start studying hard from now onward.

Anyway I enjoy last friday gathering at 211 coffee shop
with those clinque.
Uncle JC is finally back . . .

2009-08-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

We gonna admit times goes, things changes.
We are no longer the same, all grown up.
Maybe our mind had been thinking and missing each other.
Which is something Im sure all of us is doing.
But the bond had weaker.
I still love those sisters of mine.

Cheers to phuket trip tmr,
Cheer to weeks without smoking.
Cheers to a month without drinking.
Cheers to breaks from school & work from september.

Wanna go back those night life.
But I can't afford it.
Gambateh alisha 1.5 year more to go.

September gonna catch my study.
Meetup yoyo-laoshi
Facial with sister
Meetup with sisterJ
done with CTK - Job
Hair extension at bugis.
Subcontract to PEC Limited
IKEA trip
Bibi haircut

2009-08-23T21:12:00.000+08:00

Fall sick again on sunday. Tots it was on recovering mode.
On bed the whole sunday till received smses.

Undone assignmenet and work awaiting for me.
Going on holiday but its seem like sick leave.

Was on long chat with twinnie and bee few days back.
And I guess Im really crazy.
To give up so many guys for a particular person.
Well, I just fall in love with a wrong person. =)
But thanks god, if not him.
I guess I will be attached with another older guy.
Wahaha! and my darling gonna stongly object.

Yah, princess going back to her life.
Few more month to go.
Thanks Daddy for those fetching after school & supper.
Its was really sweet.
*to prevent her daughter in another guy car*
The best way is to fetch me.

Missing my baby.
Its been three week.

2009-08-19T19:43:00.002+08:00

Meeting at vivo on thursday/friday.
Shag, havent recover from my gastric flu.
Pile of work, & 1 assignment undone.
All need to be done in this two weeks.

Im going on phuket trip.
ENJOY!
Will be subcontract into PEC company soon.
Wish me all the best working with the AP department.

Why am I alway so silly.
Silly in loving you.
Silly in sticking to this job.

2009-08-08T11:54:00.001+08:00

Its three days off day. so ENJOY!
gonna catchup on study & DRAMA.

Plan to OT ytd but went orchard with familyloves to orchard.
For selection of wedding gown.
Treat from chuan at TCC. =D

Alisha need to be on diet for the coming week.
Hair extension& august's babe present tmr.
Wonder is the picnic still going on as twinnie is sick
Take good care ah. Miss you lots.
Gonna go for printing & hairclip at cwp
b4 heading to school
& celebration of dad's birthday at night.

Claps Claps, I think one week without smoking.
I need to buck up in study & work.

Life w/o dearie still go on.
Wishing he will be fine.
=D
I guess btw us there is really too much misunderstanding
and mis-communication.
But I knew this love for you wasnt a game.
In the end, I still wanna bid goodbye.
Cause I think jealously is killing me.
So much how I wish you was just a call away from me.
Remember you saying you'll stay.
Letting nature take places on it own.
But nature ruins us due to unclear misunderstand

2009-08-04T19:42:00.001+08:00

Today then I realize I had actually joined the company for 6month.
Which mean half a year. Impressive that I actually did stay.
Next I found out I actually had not show any result.
But creating trouble N troubles.

I actually given wrong ROC number to clients ytd.
No1 gonna be muddle head as I do.
I really appreciate, thankful that I got this wonderful boss.
Forgiving, guiding and helping me.

Its not just empty talk.
But effort put in.
Result shows in the end.

2009-08-03T22:48:00.002+08:00

I did try to control my tears during those conversation.
But I still break down.
Still apologies for those trouble caused
I didnt knew it will turned so bad.
Those words was so harsh and hurting to me.
I didnt stop my tears from the conversation.

I gotta be strong, brave and independent.
I should learnt it as a lesson.
I shld bid goodbye to the kind soul.
I shld make it vanish from the world.

Thanks mummy for supporting me.
Daddy, Max, TJK, MZ, PF, and mark.
For those advise and confront for me.

Princess its time to grow & learn
Its time to show ur result and not training.
Endless of meet-up for this week.
I should return back to HAPPY-GO- LUCKY

2009-08-03T22:34:00.002+08:00

Seeing you walk away, but I'm still unsure.

If I made the right decision.

So finally I look away for the direction I long to see you, the day is too painful to endure.

Those jeaously kills, Those imagination & assumption I made.

Those uncertain answer and words you spoken to me.

I want to say Iloveyou. But alone again crying for you, alone again missing for you.

I'm waiting for you as promised.

Your day will leave me behind, without any memories.

And refused to notice, my steaming tears.
I'm alone with my thoughts.

You were not there when I need a shoulder.

You wasnt there to advise me what I need to do next.

It hurts me badly to see your beautiful smile with others girl.

But I cannot smile back when you look at me.

Can I be the only one in your heart?

You say you will stay.

I'll be waiting for you at the late nights.

Just to receive a message/calls.

But its always end with disappointment.

I won't show my tears any longer.

You let me know about this false love.

I won't let go because it's you.

I'm walking through our memories.

Tears well up in my heart, what should I do?

No matter how I try to erase you over and over.

My heart only searches for you.

Even if I tried for days to forget you, to erase you.

Clamly, like a fool, an awkward greeting was all I could do.

These awkward words are for you.

You've become so far away.

Tell me I don't understand love

What am I to do?

2009-08-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

I wish everything goes to a stop
Everything was ended on the handover session.
But more came today.
I might had done, or I already did it wrong.

I think I shld stick back to my plan.
I need concentration on my study and work.
Its discouraging.
It hurting to see myself in tears.

Thanks bestie, darling, family and dearie for those concern.
Im gonna miss serenity peeps but i never gonna return back.
NEVER EVER.

I miss my sibling lots.
I guess I need really long long hair
for darling's wedding and sister's ROM.
I need slim down and be prettier.
Deciding on eyelashes extension and teeth whitening.

2009-07-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Speechless & tired day.

Met up with twins after the musical concert.
Its was really a great performance.
Great that I attended it & fully.
Cousin SY was shocked, she tot I left after that.
But never did I knew, I shed tear.
Cause reminding of my pasts.
Im trying my best every moment.
Anyway, twins &GW accompany me for hair extension.
Shld did it next month again. =(
Shopped alone and wait for sabby to arrived.
Did alot of catch-up and shld really told her.
I love her, im great you are back.
No matter what I be with you.
Thanks for accompany me down this path.
This life of mine and encouraging me.
Till today, im struggling from history.
stuggling to understand love.

WISH DEARIE HAPPY BIRTHDAY. =)
becoming older & older.
Princess wish you have good health, wealth and family.
And hope one day you find your true love.

2009-07-25T22:00:00.000+08:00

NGJJ

Happy enuff, You created chao in my family.
End my parent in quarrell
So stop telling me how unfair I treated you.
And how I made your family in a mess.
I wasnt the culprit.
But you was to mine family.
All those disturbing calls you made to my house n phone.
Those warning smsed you sent.
once I tot to be kind.
Thinking we can be friends even not couple anymore
But NOT NOW ANYMORE. NOT EVEN ENEMY.
You dont even worth the anger of mine.
Dont even worth the time n energy I need to waste.
IF YOU REALLY GO AND THINK
THAT THE WAY LOVE IS
YOU WILL NEVER BE LOVED

blissfully in love with my dearie & darling.

2009-07-19T10:18:00.003+08:00

DARLING DARLINGTAKE NOTE
MEETING ON 1st AUGUST .
VENUE & TIME will be msg.
PLEASE KINDLY MAKE URSELF FREE.
LOVES YA.MWARKS

This half year of the year 2009
What have I do wrong or right.

Im changing into someone I dont know myself.
Cause I'm a gemini, I have two personality.
Always happens in school, family for pasts.
Now in work, school and family.
I'm behaving differently everyday.
Even the clothing style im wearing.
Is weird, don't judge me by my look.

I was question, unlimted questions
Question from the one I loved, the one that loved me
Non-stopping of questions.
Not even one answer I can give.
Partly sleepy after medicine.
Partly bcoz I didn't even know why I'm doing all these.
Had I really tot of how they are feeling.
Never, never have the time.
Im hurting not only myself, but three person at a time.
I shld just leave.
I shld say my last words.

Anyway, alisha is back to that castle of mine again.
Might be going London for my third year for degree.
Daddy will be fetching me after school starting next week.
Loves my daddy by billions.
That's how I turned into a pamper girl of her.
I shld treat him good dinner on his birthday.
so blissful, no need to squeeze in those packed bus-es
Will be resignating at this year end, stop work at FEB 2010

Need to finish my revision, assignment, hair dye and medicure by today
Learn massage lesson, running session.
Family gathering today. Loves it
Hoping you enjoy today too

2009-07-18T12:29:00.002+08:00

Went work with bee darling.
Felt so bad, I actually miss out MZ sms the night b4.
I only saw it after work on the way back home.
Given a treats to my serenity's peep.
Gonna have a hangout with a few peeps on the weekend.
Trained home with max.

Msg him and we end in quarrell.
Too much unclear question in you.
But I will say I cleared my doubt.
I believe my peeps.
I decided to let go.
Maybe I had wronged you.
But its afterall my decision.
I dont need someone to shout at me in this moment
and the next mintues he forget everything.
Dont expected me to do the way you are
In this meanwhile, I never break my promise.
Anyway, enjoy you big day.
Alisha is not the one you need.
You will find better girl.
You will ease my pain.
Everytime you talk to me,
you didnt knew how much im pretending to be all right.

Have to report daily for my working schedule.
Shit right, I simply dont think I can hang on longer.
Its tiring, Im going back to the castle of mine soon.
WAHAHA.

1 assignment, 1 test next week.
1 concert, 1 massage session coming this month.
1 new set of medicure n hair dye gonna to be done.
1 impt person birthday coming on next sunday.
1 drinking session on july.
1 smoking bad habit.
1 hand over report.

2009-07-15T22:10:00.002+08:00

Was super tired. Lack of sleep.
Was on phone with my new clinque.
Thanks for letting me know the truth.
2 hours of rest and off for work next day from 8-6pm
School afterward from 7-930.
Had my dinner at school. Nana, thanks.
Bused home and saw kor.
Went for "supper" with him again.

I misses those time when we, sibling gathers.
Miss those night chilling with darlings.
Miss those starbuck chill out.
Miss those night heart to heart talk.
I miss ... I miss those moment of dreams.

I give up that love, Ultra & super disappointed.
I really trust you. I really wanna try thing out with you.
You demolish everything n led me shed tears on my own.
You made my friends and darling worried abt me.
I wanna say I really love you.
Really did but its all over.
Stop it, Im the one that had enuff of you.

Im mugging hard n working hard triple.
To get on and to achieve what I want.
Stop being mama's girl, and providing for mummy & daddy.

2009-07-13T22:35:00.003+08:00

I know you'll be here.
By the time strike off and I shld know who was that idiot.
That betray my trust.

Serenity's staffs that I always treat as friends
Need to depart from there is heartbreaking.
But now I wanna leave immediate.
A moment at there leave me wanna breakdown.
So the moment I walk out, im controlling.
But I failed and shed my tears.
Thanks sabrina for accompany me.
Thanks alot cause I really need a shoulder.
And you was there.
Always there like ex dada went off.
When I lose my precious at 16 year old.

I didn't knew I'll love you so much.
I didn't knew how to behave right.
I didn't knew can I trust you.
I didn't knew how am I place in your heart.
I didn't knew was I doing the right thing for lies.
More than I know.
I was not the kind of girl you had once
I'm trying really hard to be one.
I'm having to much ugly pasts that you didn't knew.
I'm been trying to have some time alone with you.

If you care.
If I really mean something to you.
I'm still waiting.
I didn't stray too far from you.
Cause I know this wasn't a love game.

2009-07-12T12:35:00.003+08:00

I didnt wanna have this kind of feeling.
Those moment that I wanna shed tear.
I tot you will really be different from dada.
At least let me know devoted defintion.
I dont know who I can trust : Him or dearie.
You say I broke the promise of waiting for you.
I didnt, I just dont wanna be a fool anymore.
You always have the tatics to make me soft hearted.
Teddy bear call me out for a smoke on that night.

Please take good care of him is all I can say.
Its really doesnt matter who is my boyfriend in future.
I never wanna have one again.
I rather be a mistress. Sound interested ah.
I dont wanna shed tears, dont wanna let this affected my work& studies.
Pon-ing tmr training. Gambateh on school on tuesday&thursday& saturday.

Want a blonde hair soon.
Wanna start saving
Wanna re-do manicure
Wanna hair extension? pondering

Heuer lee being loved.

I really wish to trust you another time

But I cant bring myself to lie.

Cause you doesn't made me felt loved all these while.

Im been trying hard to spend time alone with you.

But its been failing non-stop.

All those dating appointment was been cancel&postpone.

Just hug me tight and tell

2009-07-10T09:05:00.003+08:00

Well, finally have free time to blog.
A mark off point in my life from now onwards
I couldnt imagine days passes like this.
Alisha learn independent on her own.
Giving up that small love for you.
Missing her darlings & DARLINGS.
I wanna meet up often.
Miss dearie alot, so does him.
So I see his effort to at least sms me one per day.
Cause that how we need to hold on.

Serenity's peep that encourage me
Enlightment and laughter was how I carried on.
But everything ending this month.
I have more work to be done
Might need OT on sat too, if jessie meeting successful.
Might need go The Indugle restaurant next.
Might be running outdoor more often.
Im giving one year to learn audit schedule.

Change my work schedule on friday to 12
wanna go work with dearie but he going with teddy bear

Cant imagine after months of schooling.
This is the first week I went home on my own.
I actually got lost on the way to school ytd
OMG, and Im late after all those transfering MRT, BUS, CAB.
I shag but I know I want get this degree
Wish to.

Daddy say after degree den I go for Car License
Den maybe a mini sport car for me. =)
My loan from parents is going unlimited.

Promise to pamper mysef with medi & pedi monthly.
I need a hair dye & cut soon. =)
My textbook made me look like a super noob with office wear.

2009-06-27T23:29:00.002+08:00

Well, I decided to give up that love.

So I told him to stop,

No time, no energy for him.

But I sense his effort & care.

Too much flings,

That's how my life goes on.

Coping with studies, work & church lesson

on the upcoming July.

My mummy talk to me finally after the cold wars

Daddy give me almost RM1K for malacca trip

They dote on me like precious always.

Provided I be their mama& dad's girl

But I simply love nightlife, missing them.

But FULL STOP, cause its ending.

2009-06-25T19:54:00.003+08:00

Two days of good mama& dad's girl.
The 3rd day I messed it all up.
Shut myself in the room
Im so sorry mum & dad

Did I really love the job
Love taking my degree
Do I really want all this
She ask me.
Or do I want all those nightlife.

Im different from my group of friends
I need to understand
Need to, Must to, Got to.
Know im having my degree course now.

Im so sorry, ytd I make
DEARIE, zhihua, ZM, max
serene, sabrina, Debbie
so worried.

Dearie, sorry I promise I wont go drinking anymore.
I guess I made you really fed up with me.
Mwarks.

Darling Jing, Rmb alisha is alway here with you.
Its all of us start working & changing in the environment
WE STILL THE GROUP OF DARLING

Behind the door,
Im wasnt the girl in the mirror
the girl in that mirror wasnt the innocent me anymore.

2009-06-22T23:24:00.002+08:00

You suddenly treat me so well,
That I took a step back
Afraid you will fall in love.
Cause I found that I dont deserve to be loved.

Learn to be alone,
Learn to go back home myself
Learn to study hard
Learn to go church on my own
Learn to love myself
Learn to stop missing you.

That dearie of mine, I hold on ur hand
Wanna hug you tight.
But I know its gonna hurt me only
So please allow all my silly behaviour.

Too much unwanted things
Happening & un-commented.
Love is what that revolve around everyone.
I dont want it to happen to me.
You say im special but not love.

No1 know who I am
Not even myself
All those ugly pasts
All those unforgotten memories.

2009-06-21T09:41:00.002+08:00

Its long long time since I came & updated.
Nobody misses me ah?
I enjoy all those single night out with my darling & friends.
But its ending, I need to know my priority first.

Got a call from my beloved school.
Informed that I didnt cleared my examination.
Smsed dearie, I expected no comfort from him.
So decided to enjoy my lunch with Joean.

This few weeks down, I thanks those for acc me down.
Those low path of my journey.
Those disappointing moment my darling given.
I guess I know my rejection wasn't a mistake.
I'm wasnt ready to get into a relationship.

Enjoy my tuesday & friday most for this week.
Days with dearie.
Fetching me back home, those certain actions he done.
But I know you not going to be the one too.
Will you promise me silly things.
I know I will be sad cause I'm not going to see you often.

Msgs to darlings.
Sorry girls, alisha can't meet up so often.
Will meet you girls soon out before school restart again.
Gonna meet you darlings alots. Stay contact through phone.

Wish ahbi recover-ing soon.
Bringing him to the vet.
Working for 4 month but bring him to vet for 2 times.

Advise to quit working. Im still pondering
I dont want be that princess of Heng family.
I want to learn independent
I need to grow up. Need to learn.
Need to get what I want on my own.

2009-06-07T20:01:00.003+08:00

Want to cry out loud.
Want to tell you guys, I'm sorry.
I wasn't the girl you guys are looking for.
I wasn't the daughter you want from year 2005
I wasn't the sister you girls knew anymore.
I give up my examination at last minute
Scream at the tutors that was teaching me tenderly at last minutes
Went out running, thinking I'll be better.

Went looking for a job even I know I wont love it.
I'm alway treat like a princess
I wanna grow up, providing you.
Wanna buy present for you.
Wanna show my love, I can be independent
Want be the same as he is.
Although, parent tell me to quit my job.
I insist carrying on.
I'm been trying non stop to turn better.
But I no longer know who I am.
Cause I wasn't happy at all.
I love night life but wasn't allow.
Even sitting below my house, I get restricted due to gossip
Who was the one that really care about me.
I found no true friend, no family, no one who truely love me anymore.
Guys that hang around was playing a fool with me.
The one I love wasn't loving me.
But I still stood there looking at him, thinking he will pat on me.

What do I really want in life.
Really a Degree certificate?
Really a high salary job?
The boyfriend I want wasn't the one my family member can accept
The life I want was restricted.
Was all this care or over concern.

2009-05-26T14:36:00.002+08:00

My lappy die on me.
My beloved ahbi got tick.
My love dearie got upset.
My ex baby got hurt by me.
My twins didnt sleep due to me.
With her babey n zhe ming.

the one who got my hp back wasnt you.
the one i urging finding couldnt get through.
all i wanna to hear from you was simple.
Just the feeling. Just admit that I already went in if not why botter.
Why, if isnt that the true den stop caring.
Stop agruing, cause i already stop.
Leave me alone.

2009-05-20T23:47:00.002+08:00

You told me you got drunk asking me to fetch you.
I wish to do so but will we end up in quarrell.
Was it really me pushing you away.
So much I wish you are alway beside me not her.
You told me to trust you.
I really want to do so, but Im always end up almost in tears.
Jealously took hold of me.
Everytime you drag me, hold me.
I just stand quietly, looking at you.
Really want to understand the meaning of everything.
I know it wont last.
Cause everything I did, I want to give up the next min.

You told me she just a sister.
Doesn't it mean I have the right to be your girl.
Doesn't it mean if I stop pushing.
We will be together.
You will dote me the way I want thing to be.
Its doesn't, I know you did. Really did see those care n concern.
There so much I still want tell you.

2009-05-15T00:38:00.002+08:00

Im looking n waiting my dearie
To see ur reaction, to know how much is this worth.
And I really know it worth nothing.
I'm just the silly girl mention in your words.
To stop you from distracted, worry and sadness.
I did try every word you say. But nothing I sense told me you love me like I do.
Nothing even the holding of my hands.
Shld be happy but nothing than disappointment.
You treat me like a game, and tmr is the ending of this game
Trust me, I mean it.
I did all I can.
To talk nicely, to worry like a fool. to cry like a silly girl do.
Your love wasn't the one I want, The care wasn't too.

And thankful, I find someone really care & love me.
REAL do as a serious r/s. Making me wanna cry everytime I see him.
Being so foolish. So in the end I Choose him like you say.

I will be leaving, thinking you say sth meaningful.
But I was wrong, utterly wrong.
I tot you will serve me some tibit/hot drink.
At least hold me tight but you never.
Throwing all trouble and saying you care, really care.
You say this sentence that hurt me so much.
Did you think for my feeling, worrying the whole night with you.
I will conclude I really don't understand you.

2009-05-10T14:52:00.002+08:00

I want stay beside not as ur gf.
Cause im wasnt ready to be one.
I mind so much when you wasnt in my vision.
So will you please stay right next to me.
I know im playful, but I want to treat you seriously.

I hate misunderstanding, my dearie.
Hate seeing you lost your temper.
Including waiting for your reply.
But Im really glad, you came to me in the end.
Told me your trouble even thought its not the truth.
Just believe me, I'll stay cause I just want it to be this way.
Rmb you told me.
Staying beside me feel comfortable although insecure.
Even if bankrupt, I still do the same.
Im not silly nor, I just felt happy.

2009-05-03T10:56:00.005+08:00

How did I know what kind of girl I am?
I get an answer for the this 1 yr relationship.
But I dont get an answer for this one month feeling.
To prevent from hurting you.
I choose to hurt myself
Looking at those picture n smses.
I hope I can understand what do you want
But I couldnt, all I did was crying.
What kind of girl am I in your heart
Playing a love game with you, Im not doing it at all.
But you think so.
You already make me care how you felt
And there you are leaving.
Nah is me pushing you to leave
so without hesitate you do so as I said.

Was it a crush or love?
Was it a wrong timing or wrong feeling.

You are right, we are different.
That the thing we know on the first day.
I just need to know whether you still care?
Rmb you saying you will have the capability to
take care of me

mummy & dad, sorrry to make you worry again.
I promise Im old enough to handle all stuffs on my own.

2009-05-02T20:11:00.002+08:00

Will you stay beside me?
I dont know why, shld I be very happy.
But doesnt felt so, you let me feel unreal
& you claim you dont understand what I want
Although all those sadness stop but I still trying to believe
my name on your palm is real.
So did I rmb my boss's word.
Remember the first time I got to know you
Within a month, you came into my world.
Im really puzzled, abt the world of your.
Im so afraid I will hurt you one day.
Im a selfish girl.

Had all this becoming of me due to his leaving.

2009-05-02T13:29:00.002+08:00

I didnt treat you like a puppy so dont do it to me.
I didnt want to hurt you so dont do it to me.
I never want to make you upset, im not aware of it.
All I know is confusing feeling.
Even pushing you away, cause its unrealistic.
I dont want a place in your heart, cause Im not sure
whether will I hurt you?

Not ready to be your girl, friend n colleagues even so.
You dont have to understand cause im confusing.

2009-05-01T01:48:00.002+08:00

Im working on Labour's Day with my serenity clique tmr.
Sweetie, me is learning as a bartender. Really GREAT FUN!
He was really joking n announced to almost every one(customer) in the restaurant.
That this day, he going to woo alisha heng yah?
Yah, I make him really mad! Pardon me ah
Got rejected and my baby was outside waiting for me after the secretary dinner.
I was sabotage by bosses& staff to drink alcohol.
So SWEET with a doreman outside. But i got it dirty on the way back home. =(
BABY, I REALLY LOVE YOU.

Days without you around, im think im coping as well.
Im trying to stop those thinking of you, name of you.
Tmr gonna be the day, I missing you.

Studies, work n hair re-bonding done this week. Kambateh ah. =)

2009-04-27T20:33:00.002+08:00

Darlings, I might be the one that make this sistership changes.
But I think I already did my best in the last few years,
trying to gather you girls together.
Now Im working, studying,am are really damn busy.
I didnt trying to find excuses of stop meeting.
Is no one try to organsie n I mention Im tired of it.
Gathering n seeing black face, celebrating n disappointed
I have my own reason of giving up those who dont treasure me.
I thought you was really different but its seem like you are just the same.
Its shown me in the finally result.

Those who contact me really care.
Thanks bee n Twinnie n Joean. Love ya.

Wednesday, lunch with darling n school.
Yup thursday boss giving treats at serenity.
Having fun with my darling colleagues at there. =)

Planning my birthday.
Celebrating with bee, twinnie n baby alone. =)

2009-04-26T01:07:00.004+08:00

Oh, my darling sisters.
The day I tot of giving up, and I think I can understand.
The sistership, you all see we walking on different path.
No longer knowing what's in our life.
Still remember each other. I know some is still trying.
Cause I saw it n feel it.
Miss my dajie Jingyi, jinchuan n jingkai so much.
Those days.

My gan family. Kor, daddy n ex laogong.
Well, rmb how you guys really dote n nv leave me alone.
But now things change and I miss you guys really much.

Drinking n Smoking to de-stress.
Cause Im really controlling the stress level.
Cause was its presence, that im upset or im really too busy.

You told me you really want understand me.
You told me to trust & believeyou.
You told me you going to protect me
You told me you going to stay
But you never felt that way.

2009-04-25T07:53:00.002+08:00

Cause someone appearing, babyboy I think of you?
He was millions better but he still me teared like what you did.
And both rejected me due t stupid reasons.
I must be crazy ytd night, to lost control of myself.
Or was it better cause I finally get the answer
Cause I blurt out everything to his brother.
5 years and its should be stopping.

Anyway really wanna thanks my Darling Bee, Twinnie n GW for acc.
Of course my baby for fetching me, cause I knew I made you real worried.
My serenity's friends. They will really caring until I reach back home.

I thought will have a better night, but I only sleep 4 hours.
I never know the defination of pretty as I guess.
I just trying hard to be one.

Well, Busy week ahead too. Lesson later, bored.
Im learning not to pon.
Its just time I pick up smoking again.

2009-04-12T22:59:00.002+08:00

I got great catch up with my joean/yiai one month ago?
Nice playing with our doggies with serene last weekend.
And happy chatting with bee using webcam whenever we online.

I LOVE working at vivo, cause of nice friends and bosses.
Although I dislike the music.
Its only temporary and I will be back in office again.

Well, I finally pick up my courage and confronted to my dearest boss last thursday.
We might be getting the same GUCCI bags.
All THANKS to our LOVER.
=))

I getting more n more craving for my loves.
New set of eye lashes.
Keychain Holder
Clothes, Legging.

I planning to get one on JULY. Hope can made it
And one Pub night in JB with dearest cousin.
OMG, Still left that stupid awful chivas at serenity.
Simply dont have any mood. Might set in next weekend

OT on coming sat, n back to RELC for the following
1st May rebonding my hair.
Medi&pedicure.

2009-04-05T21:32:00.001+08:00

Its all those drinking night that Im addicted.
Still left one Chivas at Serenity Bistro & restautants( Customer oulet)

Im simply tired and worn out.
I need a good rest.

2009-03-14T10:27:00.003+08:00

Twiinne dont MIA hor. Haha. I want date you out. Lol

Thursday had dinner. After which i went alone to do my stuffs.
Work was packed, everyday working till 10pm.
Well, I guessed next week will be better.
Im so glad i did a good job.
Anyway im getting my namecard soon. =)

So much left undone.
Spectacles
New hair -maybe later?
Manicure -tmr
Laptop, Harddisk, Speaker, Thumbdrive. - tmr
Presents- on the way.

2009-03-10T20:06:00.002+08:00

You wont know how it feel being me.

I enjoy my weekend to the fullest.
Cause weekday is torture to me.
I work from 9am - 10 pm.
I didnt knew how I could survive next month.

I fully occupied for this month weekend.
Well Wish me good luck.

Tons of money but no time, not enuff sleep.
How to be pretty without makeup.
Laser eye sight, Double eyelid. Haha.

I hope at this year September can learn Driving?
Oversea trip. Babyboy would acc me learn driving? He learing 2A

I Miss my BABY! Tons of misses.
And my Dearest BEE,TWINNIE, JOEAN.

2009-03-07T15:48:00.003+08:00

We have a deal, JK n Alishah.
On 13-01-10.
We shld wait and see.
Thanks for always being there and understanding me
Hearing my soul n sorrow.
Im so sorry I wasnt there when you need someone.
I hope we can always be good friends. =)

Well, I'm getting better with my SIM clinque.
I simply enjoy those times.

Anyway I getting closer with my Twinnie & Yiai.
Could see that they really changing, becoming mature.
Meeting joean sooner. =)

Im getting so happy with my life.
With a low pay, lots experience.
New studying life, new laptop.
More clothes, heel.

Anyway I love my job.
I drank alcohol at customer restaurant on monday.
Back home at 12.
Then did I knew I miss night life.

Things to be done"
Hair Cut
Office wear
New bag =P
Body scrub
Face mask order
Facial
Medication
On diet

My best friend, We are getting further have you realised.

2009-02-15T11:36:00.002+08:00

Well, I joined facebook last week.
just because I wanted to play pet society.
And I received comments from my dearest.
Thanks, my old friends. I will reply you real soon.

Work was really going smooth.
With new excitment in getting contact with customers.
Cathy indulge boss(calvin), Vivo serenity restaurant(rona).

Well, some more I still received calls from my dearest at night time.
Twinnie & sabrina.

Friday went out with jessie(boss) to vivo for work.
After which I stay back to help out with rose packing for tmr special day.
Went to brought chocolate for my loves one.
They will all delivered by friday.
I still didn't got the chance to give my TJK daddy, Serene twinne, Jingyi. =P

Its was all still going on.

Erlin decided to study with me again, she didnt left me alone.
Im so happy. =D
So Im pending when to continue study?
My DEGREE IN MANAGEMENT.
THANKS MUMMY AND DADDY for the fee.
I know 25k was a small sum afterall.
Sorry, I disappointed you all this while.
Sorry, I wasnt the good image daughter all this while.
Sorry, I love my life in my way.
Sorry, I decided not to love this kinship anymore.

I love my dearest sabrina, debbie and twinnie.
Of course my TJk n dearest cousin(SY).

Starting my work life

2009-02-08T13:42:00.002+08:00

Well, tml going to start work, a perm and stable income for myself.
Decided to further study my degree in the next year 2010.
As the enrollment closing date was too rush for me.
A 3 week decision and to spend 25K of my parent hard earned money.
Ya, so I decided to stable my work first.
To get my desire, laptop, dS and payoff my dental debt.
If possible get a car license before my degree.
If possible went for English language upgrade.

Anyway did quite alot of thing on this new year period.
Went love's house bainan.
A new room decor.
A new office bag that cost hundreds
A new boots
A new variety of clothes.
Lastly, A new job that I love.

Well, I hope my life will be fuller and happier.
Since I choose to give up my gang of sisters.
And more, my love or maybe my family.

I choose to be myself, love myself.
Cause I can no longer trust anyone.
Even my dearest sister. But I still decided to told my secret to TJK daddy.

Thanks guys, for that little of chat through my falling.
Cause it remind how close we used to be.
How we used to help one another get up again.
But I prefer myself.

I'll leave after clearing all those debt and being cruel.

2009-01-13T13:51:00.002+08:00

Its not a good year from the start. You choosen to leave me without burden and in the end I carry more burden then you did. You gamble again, parents disapproved. My restricted area. following by money lost and I as being blame by my sibling.

Then I choosen to give up my everything, friendster, blog, sisters and maybe my family. I gain no 1 trust. Fom the start till end I knew. u guys think I choose a wrong bf,wrong judgement and everything. How can a ahlian, rebellious girl turn to be a good girl. Maybe really impossible.

Maybe I know what i should do, that is right? Even admitting something I never did and he didnt. no one believe maybe i shouldnt too. But i trust my own instinct all along.

I want to leave this place and live alone on my own.

I apologise to my sisters. once a sister, alway will it be. You guys life wont have me anymore. I would regret, cause i did my best to be one. No1 treasure, no1 care.

Mayb you guys care just for that moment. And im not in the first position so it doesnt matter.

You think you guys care only and i didnt, im the one getting hurt n hurt again.
for everything i had try to give in. No more again. I'll be on my own.

2009-01-02T15:34:00.001+08:00

Happy 2009 niu Year

may all my loves one be health & happy!

2008-12-26T18:24:00.002+08:00

Merry XMAS.
Partying session for everyone.
But was down at home for gambling.
Cause I don't like crowd places.

Next thursday is again another celebration
Another year coming.

Off to send resume.
Look for a proper job.

2008-12-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

My sweetheart sure love me alot.
Cause he love staying with me.
WAHAHA =D

Anyway, I hope I can passed tml interview.
Please, God bless me.
YIpee, I passed my semester 5.
Meaning I'm GRADUATED as a dipolma student.

I love my sweetheart everyday.
Although he make me angry at times.
But no1 is perfect.
Mysweetlove.

I becoming more forgetful.
OMG, im not playing good attention. =.=
I forget about so many interviews.

2008-12-10T20:34:00.002+08:00

~~1. JB with darling to meet Joean~~
2. Result day. ( on monday)
3. Seek a job ( on monday)
4. black pant, skirt and blouse, bag
~~5. Bee's present~~
6. sweetheart and me one year anniversary
~~7. Meet up with SIM clique~~
8. Slim down. *must*
~~9. pedicure& medicure~~
10.new hairdo & dye
11. Ahbi's haircut ( saturday)
12. New spectacles

So much went through.
Its hurting when you remember.
Walking on the road on a windy day.
We might need forgiving for sistership
We might need to take a step back in r/s.
To let everythings go well & smooth.
Most impt is that you show that you treasure it
as much as I do for you guys.

Darling, wear pretty pretty on friday celebration.
We going to take tons of pic n neoprint.
Its such a long time for us to gather.
Anyway, if you guys dont mind.
Please dial the birthday girl no when you girls arrived.
My hands will be too full to pick those calls.
=)
Im so much delighted.
To see my dearest beloved bee in BIG SMILE on that day.

2008-12-09T17:15:00.002+08:00

Its approaching as time strike every moment.
Well, I wish sweetheart willl accompany more.

I will no longer have leisure time like now.
If I got a job, will start searching in next week after result.

Will need to go Jb n visit uncle, get my spectacles done.
More contact lens, dvd, outfit. Foot spa. Hair cut & dye.

Bigbee, must be happier ah.
rmb my surprise althought it will come late.
SURPRISE, im sure you'll be real happy with it.
nono, some clues?
Not xiaozhu. haha

2008-12-07T18:58:00.007+08:00

There so much movie I want to watch. 12345678.

Dont feel like update. So let picture do that.

2008-12-03T11:36:00.002+08:00

I want night life again. All those chilling and night breeze.

Exam had finish and I pray I hopefully pass all and graduate as a diploma student.
Cheer* Gonna get a work of interest or temp within the half year.
Will get my degree course in 2009 in the mid or end. Part time / full time.
Be a degree holder is minimum education I wish to get.

There so much I wish to get it done. Been it completed or enjoy.
I'm so far away from my destination.

1. JB with darling to meet Joean
2. Result day.
3. Seek a job
4. black pant, skirt and blouse, bag
5. Bee's present
6. sweetheart and me one year anniversary
7. Meet up with SIM clique
8. Slim down. *must*
9. New hairdo n pedicure
10. Ahbi's haircut

So much tot went through me this few days.
I just wish to bid goodbye to the past without missing you anymore.
Be independent and a pretty girl.

Sweetheart, my ultra love. =)
We going to stay together for 2 week.
With the new big TV n piggy and piglet.
Cooking for you and enjoy.
Before I go work, the time will be lesser.

2008-11-20T19:37:00.001+08:00

One week more to exam.

More to enjoy.

2008-11-16T21:55:00.002+08:00

And im going to mugging hard today.
But stupid heartache came.
Lost half of the day.
On my way. Gogogo!
2 weeks to go.

Meet up with joean darling and her friend.
Chit chatted so much.
Letting me understand alot of things.
Yah, I promise to meet her more.
Well, we really did change alot.
Hope you do well in work. =)

List to be done after exam?
New spectacles
new hairstyle
rebonding
Shopping with joean
Meet up all my darling for buffet~
Dating with swtheart
visit 3rd uncle
bring newphew go play.

2008-11-15T19:56:00.002+08:00

I swear ...

No.1
To be cruel this time round,
If you still do the same mistake again.
Even losting 1 cents.
This going to be the very last chance.
We'll bid goodbye forever.
And Im telling you im really serious.
Nothing gonna change my mind.
No regret.

No 2
Never cry again!

No 3
Concentrate on my exam!

No 4
If we had to bid goodbye by your mistake.
never will I get into a shitty relationship again.

2008-11-14T18:46:00.002+08:00

Im a good girlfriend.
Helping you and I pray it going be the last time.
Like you had promise me.
I want be with you forever long.
Swtheart, really fallen in love with you.
So for me, change your bad addiction okay?
I know you realised your mistake.

Thanks korkor,
For letting me shed tears again.lmao
He always love me so much. =D
But im not so poor yet. wahaha.

Meeting my joean darling tml . =)
Got our couple phone. F480.
Gift from swtheart. Big piglet =D
Bought knee guard thing for daddy.

Mayb I finally understand all those hurting.
Because im the only one treasure so much.
so much happening in one weeks.
And I found no shoulder to lean on.
But crying myself to sense.
But learning to love myself more each day.
To prevent all those hurting.

Anyway, concentrate and mugging.
Exam coming in 2 weeks.

2008-11-09T20:08:00.002+08:00

If all those tears haven stop from ytd?
I'll restart everything again.
I'm really SORRY!

Everything I did.
Everytime spoil the mood for events.
Not understand your situation
Sorry for stupid attitude.
Sorry for changing to a girl I dont understand myself anymore.

If possible I will hold you tight.
Told you how precious you were to me.
How we start from the first place,
How each sistership bonds get stonger.
Till now when I realised everything.
Was I too late?

I dont know what will happen to us in the future.
Im too afraid to think.

We'll all change in our mindset, our views in everything.
We'll no longer have the fun we used to had.
We'll know someone new in your day.
We'll be handling stuff by not being together.
We'll have less gathering each months
We'll be going seperate ways..

The joys, the laughs, the fun, the anger, the smile, the action we used to had..

Nothing gonna be the same anymore..
Nothing gonna be as happy as before anymore..
Nothing gonna be well in my life..

I'm sorry yiai , for not understand your diffculties.
I'm sorry jing & da bee.
I'm sorry jingyi not having time to acc you like the pasts.
Im sorry serene not being a good sister of yours.
I'm sorry jingkai and dabee, for leting our special bond geting weaker.
I'm sorry sabrina for not being alway there for you.

Really want everything back in life again
Its not because of sweetheart presence that thing become like this.
Please do take good care.
please forgive my ignorance, attitude.
Lastly, please dont look for me, dont contact/ text me.

I really want to be alone.

Sorry, sweetheart.

2008-11-07T00:32:00.005+08:00

Tibits from kor n swtheart. =P

Im going to be one big fat pig.

That's my swtheart dream. lmao

Swtheart bough for me the mochii

swtheart, I want this piglet. =x

swtheart promise to bring me shopping on 21st november 2oo8

YaY, im done with all assignment.

after all those struggling at home.

Bring me headache and so.

I finally completed. =D

Well, I did 4 lecture notes of law. Goodgirl

I want go buffet steamboat with my darlings.

Decided to rebond n trim my hair in the end.

2008-11-06T11:02:00.003+08:00

Each semester, turning from good to worst.

I still struggling my way to complete my last assignment.

You couldnt imagine at all.

I should left till tml morning, until I check answer with friends than I write in.

=.=

I didnt sleep in peace ytd cause of my assignment

Wake up and found my swtheart infront of the computer.At midnight 2am, I think he return back late for sleep.

I cook a good meal dinner for my swtheart and sister ytd night.

I must mugging hard for 3 week until exam weeks
Its approaching nearer each day.

Have you realised thing wasnt the same anymore

I couldnt call you the way I used to call you as my dearest.

All those words we once spoken, seem so blur like long history.

We are so busy with our life that we use as excuse.

In our mind, we didnt forget either one.

But we no longer contact closely.

2008-11-03T10:32:00.002+08:00

So much things unhappy.
Just brought me the thoughts.
There seem to be a burden btw us.
How are going to get closer.

Im tired of all those gathering.
Just a full-stop.

2008-10-30T20:36:00.002+08:00

Just back home after doing nothing in school till 7pm.
Cause steven dont want help after countless asking.
So I did nothing and wander around having my dinner with alexis.
Which they took cab dowm tampines together.

I got to did my case study for ISB and Law for indivdual tonight.
=) BIG thanks to steven for the website.
Euguene going be so pissed off by me this 3 days.
Cause I always talk rubbish when he talk to me.
Haha, I know la, I'll add you in frendster if I found it.

This few days, I got stupid wishlist to be completed.
unreasonable and high demand.

Anyway, went with parent to JB ytd to fet some household matter done.
Just a piece of word for kor n sis.
Im not that kind of meimei to get hold of what paret had.
We promise not to argue over money and parent's will.
So everything will be evenly distribute in the end.
I so much wish we had a big home and forever live together with our loves one.
Jing,kor, chuanjie, sis, dad, mum, me and swtheart JJ. Maybe with our kids.
Immpossible?

Will God grant me a slight wish.
To let me die before all my loves one.

I dont have much friends
But all those friends I have are my goof friend, angel and darling of mine.
=))

Just called my brother and mummy.
Sister coming back son, she me me a anges bnes(spell wrong) pouch
And many small things

2008-10-29T19:08:00.006+08:00

2008-10-26T11:07:00.002+08:00

Thursday
School and ciao half way for project.
But computer labs was full, so headed home n did instead.
Waited sweetheart off work at home while waiting watch channel 8.
YAY, I got this idea to give my DEAREST DA BEE.
My true found sister who stood by me all this while
a BIG surprise, I got confidence you'll be Gan dong Des =D
Exciting? guessing it is buffet at hotel? Wahaha. =X
Had dinner at wdl center n pak pool.
Saw ex Prince and sweetheart tot it was baby boy.
WAhaha, can see how much he want to see him. LOL

Friday.
Meet up my bee, jing, yiai, cw and kor for dinner after school.
Headed for pool after sending bee home.
So we 3 couple went pak bola. so rare and enjoyable night.
Saw derrick n Jason at there too. =.=
Its like so funny when mummy called and say you "pakbola"at wdl center again.
Thanks CW for driving us.
Went home and chiong project.

Saturday.
Went kranji with siewyin after school.
Headed home with her brother. Playing and chitchat waa our loves.
We had small secret in us cousin. And Ilovethem lots.
For always being there with me when I'm alone.
Sweetheart brought dinner for us, and play Wii.
We laugh like hell and plan to enjoy Friday together. =)
At WWW, bowling n vivo. =)
Slept at 2 plus, wake up at 7 plus as Ben got work
So we went out together and had breakfast at MAC, with lot of free food.=0

So much tots went into me recently, so much changes around.
My letter for bee havent been reply.
I dont understand my babyboy at all. Not a least although . . .
Thanks my guardian angel for never leaving me behind.

Ilove my sweetheart when days goes by.

I want to have lots of memories with you.

Im still miss you

2008-10-22T19:27:00.002+08:00

Well, after 2 days absent. Im being schedule for project after school till next tuesday. I hope wednesday can finished up. =) Well, thanks steven for your taking care.

I going to touch up on law and let him to do the editing. Hope it be done by this week.
Revision on my ISB. Im so far from classes. =x

Thanks ah my swtheart by calling and say he got F480 for HIMSElF.
=( me still waiting for him to bring me to starhub. LONGZ waiting.

I had so much plans for our future.
I had so much to tell you.
How I wish we met earlier in life.

2008-10-21T10:17:00.004+08:00

Ytd went to meet up with sabrina. Since a long time we chatted.
Well, maybe all we wished was our sweetie is a bit more romantic and caring.
I went school and she went starbucks.
Could sense that im going sick but I didnt expected so worst again.
Dizzy and feel like vomiting again. i just eaten lunch but I felt hungry.
The moment I got down bus I was bang by a student. *wtf*
But swtheart say must go sch, so I sleep at the lab & went home one hour later.
Sleep all my way till swtheart and mum called me at 8pm.
Play Wil with swtheart and sleep again.

THANKS to my dearest ahbi
The moment we wake up, the whole place was shit.
So swtheart n me got to cleared all and took him for a bath.
Before he went for work. Thanks swtheart.

Should give school a miss again.
Finish all my on hand project and indivdual.
Many to go for revision. Im the only one in class keep skipping school. LOL

HAPPY 7th Month
wahaha, sound so eerie when he told me ytd night
So I dream of a ghost story. LOL

Undone lists

ISB project [processing]
Law project [waiting confirmation]
Macro notes 1-8
ISB notes 3&4
watch house bunny [thursday]
print exam timetable
new phone F480
Dinner this friday with darlings

2008-10-19T13:04:00.002+08:00

After busy with friends and sister celebration for the past one weeks, upcoming is my project. Well, I get shit from my repeater group mate. *faint* Lucky steven is sacrficing his sleep for help and better project grades. *yawns* Mugging hard next week.

Getting F480 gold limited hone with boyboy.

My first couple phone. LOL =.=

Going WWW on next next weeks.

Wii is in my house, I going to have lots of funs.

But I'm stoning alone at this hour on sunday.

My parent haven't came back home.

Waiting for jingh to come and acc me play. =D

Happy belated birthday DADA

Happy belated birthday ERLIN

happy BIRTHDAY to JING sister.

2008-10-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

My eyes is getting bad from worst.
Yay, maybe one day I wont see the beatiful world.
Swth had been urging me to see doctors in the late night
But I continue slping in his arms.

I guess that was the only peaceful moment in my life
Cause when the moment when Im awake.
Im all alone again
Rubbish tots came, those unhappiness and stressful stuffs.
I really want to give it a stop.
Really want to give it a big cry and let everything out.
Really want to get out of those conflict.

Will everything go back to all those happiness
Will everything return?
I will stop myself from those hurt.

Its look so funny when tear shed in the bus.
Uncontrollable.
I Just want some peace on my own
On someone I can trust and rant everything out.

Meeting my bestie on tuesday and david.
So much to get catch up. =D

2008-10-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

Met up with my twinne at amk, we ate KFC drumstick
Twinne was so crazy about it, she ate it daily.
Headed to yishun, swth shop to get rene's screen pro.
Back home, changed and went yishun safra with kor n co
Sister joined us till 3 am.

Had 4 hours sleep and swth got to went work.
Me wake up at 9 plus and to IKEA with family.
Jalan kayu for lunch n home.
Went to claresta home for swimming.
Fun and leisure.
Bringing bee n jing on the next week with da jie.
=) For swimming n steam bath.

Going tuck in early. Tml having school.
I still need t report early for payment n +++
Meet swt in the morning.

2008-09-29T13:54:00.000+08:00

Its like so meaningless, without you.

Appearing and reminding me.

I hang out my laundry just mins ao.

And now dark cloud above the sky. =.=

I planned everything nice n sweet.

But everything changed, army boy JC need to book in tml night.

So after IMM I had to rush down MSL to had supper.

Nevermind, I will meet me twinnie tml & chill. ** cheers

Mummy sponser my new bed frame.

Cause Im jealous about sister having one new decor.

We going to have a room renovation soon. =D

Few more days to my darling jingyi return. Misses.

I cope myself at home.

Rejected all last min dating.

I want night life.

2008-09-28T13:13:00.000+08:00

How much can I save one year working hard?

Half of my school fee for degree?

When can I learn?

On my own, my own hard earn money?

Im blissful with my family and swtheart.

Everything start with a plan.

I felt bored and tired.

Meaningless. =]

2008-09-27T13:54:00.000+08:00

Well, thanks god ytd I had my darling jing and dearie kor acc me till late.
And when I arrived home, Sister came back shortly follows by swtheart
I hate waiting alone at home for someone to return.
Wanna to meet jingkai n bee up but didnt.

my life
Im back on tuesday night and I met up with my lians.
Misses Jingyi , Hope she faster come back and everything is fine for her.
Wednesday went bugis with jing for shopping.
I spent hundred plus again. =X

Next week life'
Monday go back sch? Dinner with sim mates
Tuesday : Dinner with darling, welcome jinchuan.
INVITED SERENE YIAI BEE JING JINGKAI JINCHUAN n ME.
Thursday onwards start school.

Waiting for siewyin to come visit me.
Might be going bowling with kor n swtht at night.

afterall, I decided to went working before my degree education.**cheer
Althought mummy say me to continue straight.
But I want to earn my first ten thousands.
To pamper my darling, family, myself and Swtheart.
I going to treat my darling and family a big meal.
I going to get swtheart a branded surprise
And myself with lots of clothing n shoes. =D

Yay, I planned to change my phone again before going for work. =)
Going for facial and hair treatment the next week
Cant went Jb with my darling anymore.

2008-09-17T22:15:00.001+08:00

Everything was different when I started falling in love.

My life was nicely planned as I want to be single

A high pay job, Unlimited wants. Pretty

But things was all so different now.

Things still go on, I still want to pursue my degree.

But with him beside me, everything in my life got a him.

Everything I do I had to think of him.

Need to add colour in his life.

Need to understand the joy and happiness he given me.

Need to know how much I dont wish him to leave.

Sweetheart, before it come.

Wish us a happy 6th month

I love you everyday like how you do.

I knew you didnt mean it this afternoon.

And I want you to know You're the only one.

Now and in the future.

Its like all that we had planned in the night.

I just got this instinct you'll be the last.

If not I would tell my mum about you.

Just waiting for me to finish my degree and a stable job.

Mwarks love

2008-09-17T17:08:00.001+08:00

Ytd had my stitches got out, four awful holes in my mouth. =(
Depart to JB, did little shopping. Was resting at secret recepies while swth fall aslp.
Decided to went back his work place in the end as it was still early.

In the end, we stay there for 2 hours while waiting for darling.

Went to play timeZone and pack dinner to safra, sabrina came too.

Had a long chat and after which headed to marsiling coffee shop.

Stupid stufffs happening, I was stop at the custom for duoble check on my bags.

Found out 2 bubble gums n ask a few question. All thanks to my swth

I fall into the bowling alley wearing jing shoes.

And they laught like hell without help including my swth.

Swth acc me chat till 2 in the morning as i couoldnt fall aslp despite his hurtful waist.

Acc swth for work today.

Cried and hit him so hard.

Xiao si gui =)

Depart to ntuc at 3 plus n cabbed home to pack my stuffs.

Stupid swth, alway dont trust me. Jealous of me fatter than you ah. GRRR

Bully me again than I step till you die.

wahaha.

Going to watch 4bia later.

2008-09-15T23:48:00.000+08:00

Found myself couldnt fall aslp again, for nothing.
Too worried, too bored.
I slept well only in mum's bed, with the blanket.
So its reaching 12 and Im still online.

Sweetheart had always been sleeping.
One days sleep so long, sometime really felt weird.
His life, betting, slping, working, me, family and dreams.
Nothing else, not boring?

I sudden felt so boring, althought lay a whole lots events.
I just felt boring, lonely.
No sweetheart, family, sisters, dada.
Just didnt knew what im seeking in life?

Got a change in HP again. Same as jie and jing. K770
Tml going get alot preparation, wanna buy alot of things to acc me
Will miss my darlings and sweetheart. Still got to call him daily.

16-Going extract stitches tml, den JB.
Secret recipes for my darlings again, w/o misses
17-Wednesday will be with sweetheart at work
18-23 -Thursday early morning will leave till monday night or even tuesday.
I will be back before jingyi depart, had a dinner gather.
24-Wednesday,bugis outing as this week sabrina not free.
26-Friday, sweetheart's relative wedding

2008-09-13T19:00:00.000+08:00

Im so hungry. =( sweetheart working =( none f my darlings is online

Planning to go with darling to genting on december?
Planning and asking?
Might be going taiwan as well with family on december.
I want go sentosa restort and stay overnight =X
Want to play day at the beach. Sun tanning.

I cant go anywhere, so tired. Acc swt heart to work and I went back home after 2 hr
I slept 5 hr after that. Im so lazy. =( I want food!

Bad lucks, I was tailed ytd by an guy, so after which I throw my temper at swtheart.
An sister lecture me. =( fr not being understanding as he had work.
Want to hug you and fall asleep with a full full stomach.

2008-09-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

Well, my face start swelling? haha, didnt care much.

At night meeting my darlings and TJK daddy and uncle.
Ytd meet jing for movie.
Tuesday, sweetheart going acc me take out stiches
maybe JB shopping n eating
Wednesday, sabrina to bugis
Thursday, Result day and grandma house
Wll be back on tuesday?

2008-09-11T14:07:00.000+08:00

Cheers. my firsting daating with sweetheart.
Sunday outing

Before went in
when Im beng push out of the surgery room
my wisdm tooth, 4 separate into 6

2008-09-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

Im back, Im fine lying on bed. Just visit my darling and dada blog's. So came my worried for dada and darling BEE. And a simply piece of words for explaning the smses you darlings had sent me. I guess dada I will sent him a private msg.

Regards to the sentence jing had say, all I going to say. Me and Jingyi both knew she was in anger that day, wasnt it?We knew she doesnt mean her words at that moment. Well it did hurt us at that moment. But we had forgotten it? We knew she doesnt mean it, cause after which she still came for gathering.Still trying to did her best as part of sisters, all she needs was to depart earlier at times. The facts that girls had say was true, mayb she did neglected us when her bf come back. But we woulnt want be light bulb too, normally jing was not acc her bf on sunday. All they got was friday night and sat. But after talking to her, I knew she already did her best. Its was my brother that disallow her. And afterall, we wont wanna to see them quarrell bcoz of us too. Wasnt being a sisters of her, we shld bless her with her happiness. Well, I guess all of us had say hurtful words before and we forget the next mintutes. Cause in this sistership all we want was laughter and fun and LONGLASTING.

Early morning report for surgery, wast kind of regret taking the risks after this stupid wisdom tooth. As I had slight sore throats, so I waas delay for examinating by doctors. Was able to proceed if I was to take the risks as I might have breathing diffculties. So I decided to proceed, waited 1 hours plus and I entered. Almost teared cause I didnt knew what going to happen, they descibe till so horrible. LOL. Everything was fine, a jab and blowing a tube, the next thing I knew was awake in my bed, all numb. on the moment when im aboout to sleep felt real peaceful, althought the doctor was hurrying. I wish I wasnt awake anymore=x Now everythings was fine, numbness went and I had no pain. Didnt open my mouth neither. =) Want my sweetheart to visit me with mash potato and ice cream =) Might be going JB tml night, if im better. Im allow for discharge, but extra careful cause my wound is deeply den others. If its open up I got to hurry back that why i didnt talk.

Lastly my words for darling bee.
How was you? Just take things relax and organise your work. Just give me a sms if you really need someone. =) Just a few suggestions, hope you think its through. Only when you try and overcome, den you going to learn. Only when you start to love your job urself. Start to believe and have faith den you can love your job. Remember how noble your job is, how impt it is. IF you backup now, you are losing experience. I didnt knew what is your problem actually, but if is overload work. This is my suggestion to work earlier a bit and stay back even tho no OT. Alisha just hope you didnt give up, hope yo will be able to overcome. I will be standing strong besdie you, acc you when im free for lunch. Who doesnt cry when they whenn out in a totally strange place. I even cry in my dad co when i first went there during pri 4. After that I did cry on my first job out alone. I knew I cant be like this forever, den plcuked up my courage. To learn and knew my collegues, to enjoy my day. Waiting for knock off happily. Cause you know every job that you accomplish is like a good homework you had done. Be that cheerful bee and smile. okay. =D

2008-09-08T20:07:00.000+08:00

You wrote my name, So pleasure my dada.
Please take good care of yourself.
Please the worst thnk I hope didnt hapeened, came.
I hope you get better. Im so great in 2008.
I found my sweetheart.
And our special frienship unbreakable becomes better.
Althought didnt make is as an items in the end.
Im so grateful to knew you, to once be with you.
And continue on so please take care.
Treasure your life.
Only when you treasure& love yourself den will appear ur another half.
Trust me, someone nice will appear for you.
I knew you went out now thro msn. So see this entry next time haha.=D

I remember wrong date for surgery, its on wednesday.
And sweetheart, no worrry.
I'll wake up in pain after the sleep.
Seeing your worry face let me just felt happy.
Will stil be back to my family, you and darling side again.
I wont be dead, I will still be kicking in pain.
Mummuy's cook is nice right?
Im so great mummy treat you so nice.
I'll see ur mama n papa soon but not on 26th septemer, of course.
Dont scare me till death.

Darling and dalings, Im still thinking n thinking.
What's had really went wrong.
Why n why?
Cant things change better.
Im so afraid I lse grip of it, like how I lose sabrina & TJK in pasts.
while im trying to get them back.
I dont want those shedding tears for days.

Things to do.
Surgery
City square
Bugis
Dinner with sabrina
Make sushi for yeo
Result day
Boys over flower final (jing)
My sassy girl
Cyborg she
mamma mia (sabrina)
4bia (sweetheart)
6 months with sweetheart
16th september ; uncle enlistment NS

2008-09-07T23:48:00.000+08:00

Its was a pleasant day at all after evening.
Conflict came and we almost misako to tears.
Trying to calm everything, if all you want to heard was a Sorry.
I apologise. But its still not the time to point fault of one another.
Ya, who is perfect?

Im always trying to cover, always trying to understand everyone had weakness and strength
everyone of us treasure this sistersip, as i know. How much we had given in?
How much we willingly to give in? how much we plan to give in?
All we can do is give in and forget.

All i can say now is think about those happy times.
Havent we done anything more for one another
Havent we sacrific times for one another.
Havent we try to match everyone time for each gathering.

No one knows orgainse a gathering is diffcult.
No one try to voluteer
Its always me doing most of the time, and i didnt say anything.
There was times when I ask bee and jing for help at times.
Trying to match everyone timing
Trying to meet up with the earlier person
trying to remeber and double confirm all timing
Walking and waiting for the rest.
Im tired, simply tired.

Im trying to meet you guys by 8 of september.
Cause i knew i wont be free after that.
But all answer i get was reject except for bee trying to fix a time for me on friday
I didnt knew how much I miss you guys.
Didnt knew why at this moment, I no longer text you guy and ask how's things
I didnt knew why thing become like this.
All i did was develop pic and paste on wall

Im tired, all I need is time on my own.
Trying to hold on those water taps.
I'll be back afer all those soul searching
Just take good care my darlings
I'll miss you girls.
I'll be back after all those soul searching.
Dont worry my darling and sweetheart.
Im just tired of all this unhappiness.

If only i can be gone forever.
Im so sick of my life
Hate myself and the pasts

2008-08-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

Everything is diifferent
Everyone is trying

2008-08-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

So many thing to be done in the following weeks on.

Friday to take blood test
Buy house phone
Watch movie
Exam in 1st & 2nd and 5th september
Eye check up
Extract wisdom tooth
Dinner with darlings
Lunch with dabee at typ
Mugging in RP the next few days
Tidy stuffs

MISSS my darlings. =(

2008-08-18T10:47:00.001+08:00

A HAPPY BIG BIRTHDAY TO

OUR YOUNGEST SISTER

CATHERINE WONG JING YI!

ENJOY YOUR DAY!

STAY PRETTY & SMART

LOVES

2008-08-17T16:51:00.000+08:00

Yay, I got the mood to blog for my darling and sweetheart.

Early mornng I wake up and decided to leave home ith sweetheart, compare to past. I would scold him in the early morning for coming my house. Haha, but today we went t sheng siong nd macdonald for breakfast. He was force to wait for me as the speed im eating. >.<>

Took ahbi for a stroll and bath, Off to cwp and bought darling surprise present. =) Meet my sister fides to NTUC and Cold storage. She bought many tibit for me same from sweetheart. Blissful. Saw dada at ntuc was so surprise, to saw him. Sister coudnt recongise him. Anyway take care.

Im going to mugging hard tonight after sister's cooking. And my day out with jingyi (birthday girl)

Im going to be a good adorable girlfriend. Care/concern and love you from now onward. I knew how much you had did for me, and its time for my turn. I hope you understand me more, and I can understand you too. The missing part can never be heal so let it be forgotten. Just dont expect me to settled down so fast. I will let that dreamlove be free.

2008-08-17T09:41:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning, Im sitting and staring in blank. I want to blog but got no mood. haha. =D

Will my block nose recover soon. =( two more days for school but im going only on tuesday. =)

Twins, we should go prawning one day. =)
Im experts too. LOL
Next snday we going wild wild wet, you wanna join us? =)

2008-08-14T14:16:00.000+08:00

In school waiting for erlin co to having break then I'll go railway subway for study.
And wait for them to finish school and study together. =.=

Dislike my life, dislike the way it is. Its look like im neglected my darling, TJK& uncle and sweetheart & my real-blooded sister. What am I actually doing in my daily life, I didnt knew as well. What going to happen next week, what is happening tml for me. When everything I thought well was not there anymore. I didnt want you to let you disappoint me therefore I did want start an arguement. Dont want talk anymore, dont expected any more again. Im just depending on my own for study, meals and entertainment. I already stop asking, stop thinking. Or was it those pharse of words you wrote. Start making me in a mess, wasnt it all over.

Anyway I decided my night out with TJK. mayb with bee and uncle JC.
Tml afternoon go find yiai collect things. =)
Tml night going YCK prawning with ahlians.
Twins, are you doing well? Miss you.
Everyone had a BBF, but where's is mine?

2008-08-10T12:46:00.000+08:00

Since weeks when I last post, well im mugging in RP& SP. And im finally going to done with OTQM.Left 4 more chapter, should dne ytd.

This one week, I met up with Mr yeo, meiyi and yiai. Of course my ahlians. Left my twins, miss her. =D

Ytd was my day wth sweetheart but he left me home and off he went tfor horse betting. =,= DL , after the long waiting at home with sisters. Cook my meatball spagetti while waiting, do household and online surfing net. His back home at 6 plus, and I did hair treatment for me, so nice right. =.= Went CWP, cause he wins and he got to bring me to buy puzzle and timezone. No more catchng of dolls, we play the new game, house of the death and music. =D So went home with ben and jerry ice cream n LJS n OCK. Start off with the eating and PUZZLE time, 2000 PCS. WAHAHA, so happy. Yay, I rebond my hair and swtheart dye his at wdl center. Si ah beng at this moment, its cost him a bomb ytd. =P

Im now alike like dabee. So must take pic with her soon and I'll restyle. LOL.

I finally know how i start depend on you, that sometimes I so afraid to be alone at night. That I start to hate waiting for you. Cause from the start, your life is like all about loving me and dote on me wholeheart. Then, I start to wonder on the four hours, will I love you like the first time I love a guy(babyboy). Now all I can do is forget about him and start anew. Your love was all I was to treasure. All those hurting from babyboy was enuff to stop me from looking at the future.

My love darlings.
My love sweetheart.
My love family.

Darlings, we'll go on trip overseas on this year end okay. And had a crazy night out ton in another country. Gossiping and having fun.

2008-08-02T15:48:00.000+08:00

I dont understandd my sweetheart, when early in the morning we was in the cab. He told me he just bought a car. I was like happily say he must be joking. Such a big joke, and he claim it coming on tuesday. Nevermind, and to me its a small car compared to others. And why is it first hand no second hand and he told because the newly car smell. OMG, and he even bid for the car plate number. Should I believe my ridicular BF. =.= And everything of the above was not discuss with me at all, not even a call. I really cant believe if all this was true! My schmate still joke he bought a car cause of the night safari trip. But I think he a bit sot. =x

Anyway, im going to the night safari with my schmate. ENJOY the outing, =) Going to take tons of picture. =P

This four month that we went through, sometime I still think I dont understand you as much as you understand my everything. But do you really understand cause times when I didnt knew who am I, What kind of girl am I, really living a comfort life, really that blissful to have a gang of sister? I still wonder am I double character?

2008-07-30T13:58:00.000+08:00

Ytd went back msl just me and yiai as she sudden had this decision and when im home alone so freely. So I went to wdl center and met her up, bought bubble tea and took bus913. Gt the visitor pass and we linger around b4 heading for MrYeo. Mr lim remember my name cause its the same with her daughter. =) Had great fun at D&T staffs room, we laught like the past and we realised thing really changed lots. Im making sushi for D&T staffs b4 teacher day during my self study week, cause I guess its the last time. And I make sure, there is improvement and not lower standard. Haha, of course for my darling, swtheart too. We went dinner at sakae like oldies, Mr yeo treats and next time will be us okay. =D After which me and yiai walk back home. A sister I knew since im seven years old, 12 years of friendship and sistership.

Back home chit chat with mummy since dad was aslp. =( I knew they were disappointed. Neither are me& sis, cause we dont understand how my brother is thinking at all. Mum, still afraid that he wont come back stay even after NS.

Sister comment to mum that im not having good sleep recently is it due to study? Cause im talking in the night many many time in the night. Swtheart say so too. Maybe bax cause of project problem, not going lesson? Well, i went sch almost daily but im not in class. I will be idle arond the school with peeps or canteeen enjoy my meals. I skipped 6 times, my attendance is nice nice 90% ++. I should attend classes daily after this week, no matter how boring, still sit in that lecturer room. Must passs examination smoothly and graduate. Mostly to continue if I can find where im going.

Apologise to dajie, as I couldnt acc her for movie on monday. Meeting my darling on friday and some on sunday for facial. Guess friday will be in Rp studying with bee, she'll play PSP. LOL. If not we will be shopping at far east with yiai.

Suddenly I miss my oldies day, nights ot with jingkai and bee at playground. So long till I seen him, he busy working? Chatting with twinnie rene at my house till 6am. Shopping with yiai and chatting under block. Playing pool with sabrina, talk heart to heart. Cooking with jing. so many thing with my darling. When we used to gather out for fun. Things changes, and how many really tried to treasure this bond of sistership. Try to give and take for one another. Think for each of us, diffculties that we faced. A small reminder sms, a small encourage, a small console, a small concern.

This sistership to me is like fading, because I started to get busy with my stuffs. Study, swtheart, sch mates, family and darling. After hearing so many youngster died of accidents, I start wonder, did we really cherish , treasure, love enuff for every mintutes of the day. 24 hour a day, had you try spending mintues knwing your love one. I didnt, thats why Im thinking everyday. What had gone wrong.

2008-07-23T11:12:00.000+08:00

Im not at school this moment of time cause early 7 am, sweetheart was hurshing me off bed. And I curdle in my 2 blanket plus rolling toward him. At 8am, he urge in again, faster wake up and tke cab to school. And I continue. The third time, he called me to open the door. Off he went work and without disturbing my sleep-ness.

But my darling jing sms me to go town. So I msg other and nform classmate im not in school. Well, i should be doing project but my film in sweetheart place. =.= So i sit here and rot.

Understanding how you actually was hurting me all this while. Didnt consider my feeling all this years.

2008-07-20T17:01:00.001+08:00

Forgive me for no updating, so much thing happens that put me in thoughts. I was busying with my projects and finally im done. I went to request for looking after claresta after lesson. Hoping its got approve by her parents. =D Her birthday on Friday and im looking forward to her house warming too.

Well, didnt knew how my darlings are doing. I shld sms ahlim later on her job. =) Had meet up with ahbee and jingiyi and siewyin ytd and friday. =) yiai,jing,sabrina, hope you all are doing fine.

I shld get started on my writing notes right after assignment 2 and attending lesson daily. =)

Sweetheart had not been living with me recently, he used to acc me when parent wasnt back. But now no longer cause I didnt want as Im having diffculties in waking up in the morning for school. So he only came on friday night and we got to take cab to school and his workplace. Thats because cab have no peak hour on sat but we still need to call cab =.=

Wanted to learn TENNIS & YOGA. I want to clear my table too.

2008-07-09T16:36:00.000+08:00

Awaiting for my mum&dad to be back home.
Its time to mugging hard.
Im like skipping classes and falling aslp daily.
Fully packed till next week, busy life?
Tml going see doctor again, then church.

Sweet heart birthday is coming in 4 days time.
I still have no ideas what to give him?
OMGzzZ

starting on my projects.
Such a waste that i didnt join xiepeng& erlin c0 for dinner and movie today. =(
Not feeling that well yet.

Hope ahlim interview success! =D

2008-07-07T16:17:00.000+08:00

Currently wont be blogging, cause no mood.
Im being sick for non stop, gastric flu. vomitting & vomitting
All my classmate, family, jing and sweetheart cant tahan me.
My sickness is like continous, no matter how many doctor i see.
Already cut down on alot of foods and cold drink.
Situation still the same, I being tired of getting sick.
Going to get some sleep. Tired of crawling to shcool early in the morning.
Tml staying back to wait for bestie they all till 5 plus and did my project.
Almost having lunch daily with them

MISS MY DARLNG! like so long didnt have a nice chat with all of them.

sweetheart birthday coming and yet i did nth at all yet =x

2008-07-01T20:29:00.000+08:00

Just a piece of word. I wait for 4 years, look at it numerous.
I got an answer, got a definition.
Nobody believe but me. So I need you to trust me.
Someone special yet wasnt his love.
Disappointed and joy

School start today, sat alone and came my friends.
Ends at 12 and i shoo to sweetheart shop.
Realised being alone is lonely.
Hated this feeling but I need to learn.
Misses my darlings, family, sweetheart and happiness
Going for JB on friday with sweetheart. wee... =D
Gonna bring cakess for my darlings at marsilings...

2008-06-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

If only one day I can stop worrying about your life,

School going to restart soon on next tuesday. Im having morning classes. =)
Ytd went out with sweetheart to plaza sing for movie and on.
We got mickey but dont have minnie. So I went home moody.
Nvm, I knew sweetheart try his best.
He went to did his passport to acc me to JB.
Sister going diving today so I'l be alone.

Nobody could be a worst girlfriend like me. =(

Want to get my sandal. Want to be prettier. =x
Wany your life to be happier, 1 month passed.
If my word is advise-able, why thing become like this.

Meeting my darling at CCK later on, =) enjoy and looking forward.
Will upload after I get pic for my makeover

2008-06-19T18:55:00.000+08:00

Well, im back after a long holiday rest with lesser contacts. Just simply love my life at now, appreciate my swwetheart and darling for those freedom I want. School going to start, its mean i going to mugging harder cause its all number again =[ Should treasure the 1 week holiday =D

Tml going to have gathering, bringing my sweetheart with me. Thanks him for all the off days& my present. Well, anyway, sisters darling. Thanks LOTS, love all the gift you all have given me. =) Although birthday went spoil, I learnt sth, knew sth. Sisters & family, thanks lots. No longer going celebrate my birthday in bundle anymore. Dont ask me why. Only when im 21, mum sponser to open BBQ / chalet for me. =)

Got myself few pieces of clothes. =) Was in JB this few days, im so glad mum and dad love for me wasnt lesser. Indeed when mum keep asking do I need to make phone calls.=D Dad and mum whole life was slogging for us, this three children. But times when we sibling still think its not enough. They were not understanding , old fashion. But, when I stepped into dad's company. I realised his hard work for brother during the last discussion when we almost forget.Thinking he doesnt care anymore. All those acting and talking infront of me can go into an end for dad's employee. Im so sick of you guys taking me still as a innocent kid. When I knew everything that happened. THANKS MUM AND DAD for those shower of care!

Im a blissful kid living in this home.
Found sweetheart to accompany me throught.
Understanding sibling.
Sweet Darling that walk those journey for me.
2 days to 3 months. Time swings and I slowly noticed all those love.

sweetheart, if only now then I learn devoted.
Start to realise the impt.

2008-06-12T19:55:00.000+08:00

Well, just got my fake wigs washed&dry.
Having my mask to minimun pores.
Recently sweetheart & I was so into mask.
Just purchase 44 masks, still got 10 from face shop from aunt, 20 preorder haven arrived. jie bought some in bottles form for me, so special is sleeping mask.
Im go bored, so went around shopping and spend hundreds away this weeks.
My sweetheart hard earned pay. Laid in my hand. =x
Mwarks, thanks.

He put in so much effort for my birthday celebration.
I dont think he giving me any surprise although I say I want one.
Should wait and see, we got our couple rings ready tml.
Gt my precious present ready.

Maybe I knew the reason of not really happy.
Since the day you left us, I couldnt stop my worry for him.
But that day his lecture just got in. Left me alone thinking.

Hope tml things went well. My result get pass. =x
I got Eye center and dental app on september.
Getting my 4 wisdom tooth out. Unbelieveable pain I need to go through.
Im going to be put to sleep for the operation.
Wish mummy let sweetheart acc me too.

2008-06-08T16:30:00.000+08:00

The one you love?
The one that love you?
Choose one to be with.

I already made my choice, isnt it?
so I just pray

2008-06-08T16:09:00.001+08:00

All those laughter and fun is no longer there.
That's what I believe at this moment.
Sorry, no more trust, believe.

2008-06-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

NOBODY UNDERSTAND ME, yup maybe siewyin did.
Maybe really she did as she told cause I felt better after all those sorrow and teared flow.
thanks her for being there always.
Never failed, much more better than them.
But I alway put areoplanes to you because of them.
No offence. But I give up somehow.

On o6-o6-o8. Both sweetheart and me almost give up this relationship.
After all those thought, we still want to carry on.
None of the promises want to be ended.

Well sisters and buddy, my celebration time will be confirm tml.
Cya on that day and dont contact me for the time being.
I wont be around, will be meeting sabrina and yiai tml.
Well, should thank all those who try attending.

Nobody knew how you have been.
nobody understand how I feel, its not love.
I want to end your misery its just simple.
Dont want anyone to hurt you anymore.

sistership, relationship, family and your love you grown this while.
I want to give it a break

2008-06-05T11:46:00.001+08:00

I apologise I wasnt a good girlfriend.
I myself knew it.
But what can I do.
Maybe one year of single, I still quite used to it.
I still trying to adapt having my time for you.
I miss my darling much and I knew you have been giving in so much for three month
I admit i not trying hard enough for you.
Trust me never even want to let you go. Just give me more time& forgive my mistakes

If I made a wrong decision.
I had no regret, since I knew you.
Grad that you trust me and still willingly to tell me all.
I please god dont even let anything happen to you.
Dont sent you to a further place.
You know I'll give up my self, will be in lost.
For the time, take my hands.
We try out best to walk out okay.
Dont shut urself up, cause its hurt me most.
I'm praying you will be back to yourself soon.